The Artist’s Story

My name is Melissa Ryan and I am grateful you have interest in my story. The painting above is titled Great to See You which is, as is most of my work, an abstract expression of my emotion using color and movement of the brush to bring thoughts and emotions to the tangible. I enjoy the flow of my digital pen across the computer screen, often while listening to music that matches my mood at any given moment. Painting is my passion. The first rush comes while I’m painting with my digital pen, then another to see the finished painting printing on canvas on my large format archival pigment printer, still another when I sign my name on the sealed and stretched piece, and, oh my, when someone connects with my piece is the greatest feeling of all.

I’m (finally according to some who know me) getting on with being an artist which feels like a bold adventure for a introvert living in the middle of a Midwest cattle farm, but hey, I’ve lived through a craniotomy and a pandemic so I guess it’s time for my second act.

I have always had a creative desire to paint and “belong” in the art world that I glimpsed through my grandmother’s eyes when I was very young. Mary Hoyer Locke of Great Falls, MT was my inspiration and my teacher. She lived a true artist’s life and I admired her deeply. Everything was about the magic and beauty of the world to her and she mirrored it in her drawings, oil paintings, pastels, watercolors, poetry, faberge eggs, sugar sculptures, photography, flower gardening, bird rescuing, and a multitude of other artistic passions which she thoroughly enjoyed and lovingly shared. Her excitement about the arts was infectious, spilling over to everyone around her. It seems it is a trait that could be considered genetic, as practically everyone related to her up and down the line is an artist or artisan whether they choose to make a living at it or not. 

Because she was afraid to fly, my G’ma would travel from Montana to Arkansas by bus to visit, always taking photographs along the way of things she wanted to paint such as rustic, dilapidated old barns and cabins. She bought me my first camera and taught me about filters. I stayed with her in Montana for a summer and she gave me art lessons and showed me how to frame my work. She took me to her writing groups and to plays like Fiddler on the Roof. We went to art shops and museums like the Charles M. Russell Art Museum in Great Falls. She drove me up in the Rocky Mountains to collect wildflowers and to spend time at the family cabin at Seeley Lake. She introduced me to Yellowstone National Park in all its awe and wonder and I feel to this day that the biggest waterfall is all mine because of the way she gave it to me. Of course, each of her grandchildren felt just as connected to her, but each had their own connection.

It was a crushing blow when she passed away my senior year of high school. I felt I had lost my life mentor. At that moment I think I lost myself and I made the choice to “earn my money before I die” with art rather than fight the pain of what could have been had she stuck around to mentor me as a fine artist, so I entered college with a determination to become a commercial artist which slightly disappointed my mother who had gone so far as to pay my way for a trip to Paris, France with my high school art teacher in part, I believe, to encourage me to be like her mother who she so admired. My mother knew me better than I knew myself apparently because I still treasure the memories of Paris to this day…the Eiffel Tower, the Notre Dame Cathedral, the Palace of Versailles, but the most coveted memories were made witnessing the paintings of the masters such as the Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci in the Louvre Museum and the self portrait by Vincent Van Gogh at the Musee d’Orsay. I could go on about those memories forever.

I met the love of my life, Jeff Ryan, cruisin’ in our little hometown in Arkansas. He was a few years older than me and already in pharmacy school in Little Rock when he proposed, so that sealed the deal…I would attend the University of Arkansas at Little Rock (UALR) and when awarded a four year scholarship and a Pell Grant, I could see my path.

I enjoyed being immersed in the culture of the UALR Fine Arts Department. My graphic design instructor, Eric Mantle, took me seriously and believed in my abilities which gave me the encouragement I needed to proceed. He was instrumental in my college success, guiding me through the process of transferring my artistic expression to computers just as they were coming onto the college scene. He agreed I should apply to Arkansas Magazine as my internship requirement and supported me through the jolting experience of that real world scenario of being under the direction of an overly stressed and demanding creative director, an experience that steered me away from working at any kind of agency. He also never discouraged my goal to earn my Bachelor of Arts in Fine Art degree in 3 years so that I could finish at the same time as my husband and we could return to our hometown together, which I did…with honors. I was given a student award from the Arkansas Advertising Federation and recognized as Who’s Who Among Students in American Colleges and Universities in 1991 and I graduated magna cum laude in the spring of 1992.

All the honors felt like they rarely mattered, however, while I served my community as a freelance graphic designer for the next 25 years. Being an introvert, I worked from home and never talked about my accomplishments. I got more satisfaction out of being appreciated by my clients’ marketing directors who were receiving award after award for our projects, clients like North Arkansas College, Community First Bank, North Arkansas Regional Medical Center, and Ohio State University Press. Some clients preferred to hire me on retainer for years and many, many others on a more temporary project-based arrangement. My work was often geared toward brand building and was displayed through projects such as logo identity, advertising campaigns, brochures, signage, newsletters, billboards, websites, etc. but also extended to exterior and interior design. I served as a creative catalyst and consult as well. My work for OSU was an opportunity provided by a former boss and great friend who moved to Ohio and hired me to design book covers for scholarly journals which can be found in the Library of Congress.

I’m very proud of what I accomplished as a graphic designer. I worked directly with some awesome people like Carolyn Arnold, Eric Parker, Jim Stockton, Micki Somers, Marsha Carter, and many more. I made great lifelong friendships with fellow designers like Jennifer Shoeffey Forsyth, Gala Solari Keller, and Cheri Ellis Thriver.

Meanwhile, during those years, Jeff and I had two children, Brenna and Britt, who we raised into wonderful adults that we adore. They both attended college on academic scholarships. Brenna is married and gave me the gift recently of allowing me in the delivery room when my first grandbaby was born. Brenna earned a bachelor’s degree in registered nursing and serves as a BSN RN in our local hospital’s ER. Our son, Britt, an Eagle Scout, is a junior in college earning his degree in Cybersecurity while minoring in Choral Music. Both hold the family and farm dear and hope to return to it someday.

At the same time I was a full-time working/stay-at-home mom, I was also trying to squeeze in my passion for painting. The urge was always there, gnawing at me. I thought about it everyday and felt sad and ashamed when I didn’t fit time painting into my days. I stayed so busied up that it rarely was ever accomplished. I would finish a piece just here and there, like Upheaval and Flood of Emotion for example) and felt euphoric for a little while and then got busied up again. I filled the void visiting art fairs like War Eagle Fair in Arkansas, Artsfest on Walnut in Missouri and felt lucky to have Crystal Bridges Museum within driving distance for day trips.

So, by now, I’m guessing you’re wondering what changed. Well, let me tell you about a not-so-little thing called a Meningioma. 

As my son was finishing his last year in high school, I began having strange, unexplainable, unpredictable symptoms. Clients started to notice that projects were taking longer and the number of clients eventually dwindled down. Every day became a struggle to keep up and I couldn’t understand why. I felt like I was in slow motion, in a heavy fog. For the next year, just trying to keep up with simple chores became very difficult. Getting dressed for the day felt like a puzzle. I began having trouble finishing sentences and, since I’ve told you above about my former capabilities, this was pretty embarrassing for me. The necessary order of things became too complicated for me to figure out. My family was sympathetic, but unsure what was going on with me. My husband accompanied me to different doctors. I even wore a heart monitor at one point. My daughter graduated college in May of 2019 and moved home and within a couple weeks I began noticing my vision was graying out in part of my left eye. With her being a nurse, I looked to my daughter for an explanation and she immediately scheduled me an appointment with an eye doctor who sent me for an MRI which resulted in the traumatizing news that I had a brain tumor. Lots of tears were shed because I had never heard of anyone surviving a brain tumor. Eventually the diagnosis was made by a neurosurgeon in Springfield, Missouri that the tumor was in the meningeal lining surrounding the brain and was so large that it was pinching off the optic nerves causing the sight loss and also starting to cross to the right hemisphere which was causing imbalance. All executive functioning of my brain was affected. I lost all enjoyment in things and my memory was awful. The neurosurgeon said there was only one real choice, a craniotomy to remove it.

So, that’s what I did. I scheduled and followed through with a major craniotomy to remove a lime-sized tumor that took months to heal from and still months longer to recover. And just as I was feeling better, the Covid-19 Pandemic struck, bringing on another very hard year of mental turmoil as my parents were high-risk and my husband and pregnant daughter were on the frontlines dealing with the crisis everyday. Sending my son back to a college campus into the unknown was what tipped the cart. Once the vaccine came on the scene and my high risk family members received their shots, I began to be able to think positive thoughts again, which brings us to my new adventure.

I had a painting that had to claw its way out in January 2020 just as I was beginning to recover and before the pandemic. It was an abstract self portrait with layers of memories of my Meningioma journey. I named it Left in My Reflection. “Left” was a homonym, describing both what was “left” in my memory about the surgery and healing journey and also that my tumor was actually on the “left” even though it appears on the right in the painting because I couldn’t seem to paint it in reverse of how it felt. There is still sensation where the tumor used to be. I also was “left” with the sight damage in my “left” eye.

When the pandemic hit, I was still healing and hearing that my son was coming home early from college made me happy and I rode on that for awhile, trying to learn and prepare how to run an online business selling my artwork. My daughter announced her pregnancy in April, and that was exciting too. But as the pandemic continued, and continued, and more people died every single day just for loving each other, I got worn down. I was beyond relieved when all my family members made it to the other side of being vaccinated. And I was extremely proud of my husband for giving hundreds of life-saving vaccines as well as taking my own parents for theirs. I’m also proud of my daughter for giving vaccines as well, while pregnant even.

And that brings us to this exciting new time in my life. I can “see” the path more clearly now. Things become easier everyday. I have joy again and I love painting. My son played a big roll in the piece titled Inspired Upheaval when he sent me a video of himself singing “Bright is the Ring of Words,” a song derived from the poem by Robert Louis Stevenson. I thoroughly enjoyed painting on the same screen as my son’s sweet face was singing beautiful music. The first edition print was purchased by his Voice Instructor, Dr. Holden, at the University of Central Arkansas.

I have been lucky to have the wonderful support of friends and family in my passion. You’ll find many family members on The Artist’s Team page. I keep a note on my desk that says “no person is an island” and I am extremely lucky to have recognized that.

Inspiring Quotes

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I’d love to know you were here.

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